Poem: Surrender

He found me in the middle of a war

Or maybe I should say

We found one another


The way two sleepy people—

Heads hanging down

Looking at the ground—

Bumps heads and

Mutter softly,

“Excuse me.”


I behind my shield

Holding to the leather strap

With knuckles white

Hands calloused where my grip

Could not afford to wane

Despite the pain

Of taking blows

And whispering low,

“How much longer?”


He to the left of his sword

Filled with ink

Black and dripping

Onto the page

Bleeding through

Pigments of rage and

Unanswered fear

Composing his mantra,

“What purpose here?”


We met on the battlefield

Surprised and confused

To find company

In the midst of assumed

Isolation

Comforted and ashamed

Of the devastation

We wore like scars and tattoos,

“Come no closer.”


Lucky for me

His eyes were exposed

Unprotected and flashing life

Like a flickering neon sign

Hanging in a window

Passed by thousands

Noticed by few

The shades drawn tight but,

“Open.”


Lucky for him

My grip was weakening

Armor slipping

He saw that I was breathing

Still awake but

Dirty from the fight

Ashamed of the darkness

But longing to ignite,

“Alive.”


We lifted our hands

Almost at the same time

Palms facing the other

Skin cracked and dry

Touching to confirm

Poetry written in the sky

In the form of sunshine

Warm and personified,

“I am here.”


I lowered my defense

He drew something new

Between my mind and my breast

We gazed and we grew

I, he, we began to smile

Said too much

Then nothing at all

Fear melting

Trust erecting a bridge to,

“Surrender.”

© Jill Szoo Wilson

Poem: Only a Hand

His hand was only a hand

With veins that rose and fell

Like gently rolling waves

A dip and a swell

Giving life to all within

Beneath the water and his skin.


His brush was only a brush

With bristles short and soft

Like freshly growing grass

Subject to the windy wafts

Of springtime growing new

Filling in the lines he drew.


His eye was only an eye

With so much more behind

Like the shade of green

That bends and winds

Beneath the skin inside her wrist

Deeper still before a kiss.


His art was only art

With confines of space and wood

Like the forest she explored

In the freedom of childhood

Filled with shadows and light

An expanse of elation and fright.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026

Poem: Woman Waking

She lifted her hands toward the sky—

White and heavy with snow-laden clouds—

And stretched all the way through

From the tips of her fingers

To the delicate curves of her ankles:

A sound flew and then fell from her lips.


It was a sigh of awake, a dream of asleep—

Her breath still deep but rising to the surface—

She could see the wrinkles of her pillow

Branded into her face, holding on

Until they too had to fall from her cheeks

And rise, like steam from a cup of coffee.


The birds outside her window sang—

Songs of newness, routines and plans—

And then they were muted by the clamor

Of coffee beans bursting with fragrance

And tones more lively than even the birds

Could muster through beaks that sip only water.


She sat at her table wearing pajamas—

White cotton speckled with flowers of pink—

And she touched the tip of her mug

To lips that had not yet spoken into the day

But made only the sound of awake

And she swallowed the warmth as she thought.


Her thinking became clear and her eyes became bright—

Brightened like snow when the sun begins to shine—

A plan began to spin and to whir

Like the cogs in a machine newly oiled,

The sound of movement—of forward—

And she hopped on the sound like a wave.


Into the day she rode on an idea with wings—

The feathers were big like those of an angel—

Her hair blew backward and also to the sides

Into air that felt the way water feels

When at first the faucet cascades

Before the heat of hot has time to warm.


She was not sure where she was going—

The going was more important than the where—

Beating inside her was a heart

Burning inside was a feeling

Rising inside was a hope that

Waking was only the beginning.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026

Poem: Lighthouse Hero

She called to him

Beneath a veil of night

When summer wore

Its hottest mask

Wax and dripping

Onto the earth

Leaving sticky puddles

Drenched and drying fast.

He was ill equipped

From skin to guts

No cape in his wardrobe

Or spectacles to hide his eyes

Paralyzed

By the fear–

No not the fear–

The knowing.

Knowing that his will

To fight for love

Was vacuum packed

And wrapped in moth balls,

It wreaked of age and of

The stench of desperate attempts

And falls–

Memories of unanswered calls.

Calls for him to be the one

The victor in the storm

Brimming to capacity

With strength enough to

Hold her heart–

At least her hand–

Across jagged tightropes

Stretching over pits of sand.

Quicksand questions

Lined with glue

Meant to close the chasm

Between expectation and

What is true–

Catechisms from the past

Never brought to light

Long enough

For queries to last.

What lasted was uncertainties

And now he paid the price

Not wanting to lose

Her

But unprepared to fight

All he could muster

Was a broken hero’s

Journey into night.

Night fell

Long past its time as

Summer solstice

Lazily drew its haze

Upon a sultry sky–

Like the afterglow

Of a camera’s flash

Imprinted behind the eye.

Eyes heavy with fatigue

Propped open by ambition

He pulled his jeans up high

Belted at the waist

Sat on the dew-drenched seat

Slicing through salt

Like he was a Sodomite Sculptor

Entering the competition.

A competition

Against himself

Against the doubt

Bubbling through

His tightening veins

Waking him from

Slumber of uncertainty to

Valor through adversity.

Adverse conditions

In the black

Gave way

As light he carried

Burned a path

Radiant as day–

Along the way he set it down

The dread that he had nothing to give.

He gave her a coordinate–

It was all he had–

A map written in the air

To help her find him

Approaching beneath a beacon

Brave and bright

Like a compass

More meticulous than starlight.

Starlight led her way

Across a stretch of sand

The edge of land

And water

Lapping against her skin

Deep and

Deeper still

She wandered toward the glow.

Glowing first as though a firefly

Small and far away

His vessel cutting through

The foam, mocking delay

For time no longer mattered

As slow their paths came near

He, soaked with ocean

She, doused in tears.

Her tears were anvils

From her soul

Releasing injured expectation

She felt her heaviness go–

Fly

Into the heavens

Where drafts outweighed

The currents swirling down below.

She never saw below

The hidden treasure trove

Inside his hidden space

The place

Where thought and emotion

Ruptured like burdened banks

To flood his heart and

Overflow–

Overflows of adrenaline

Like rain

Saturated and drowned his pain

Leaving only

In the boat

He and the lighthouse he kept

For her

A flame no longer detained.

No act of the Furies could detain

His passage toward her eyes

The two he knew without seeing

He could feel at the side of his neck,

Glimpse behind the pillow

Where once she lay

Inside his dreams

And–in the middle of day.

The glow began to grow

He rowed like a man

Pursued by death

And she

Released a laugh

That tore his heart

From two parts into one–

He dropped the oars so he could run.

He ran to just before her

Then stopped to etch her

All

Inside his mind

Where secrets forever kept

Could burrow, rest and hide,

"I came for you,"

He said–

She already knew

But she feigned a big surprise,

"I wondered at that

single point

upon the horizon growing

never knowing

whether I should run away

or stay."

"I am glad you stayed,"

He kicked some sand

Between his shoes

And cleared his tightening throat,

"Now that you have

would you allow

this reluctant pirate

to stay here, too?"

She blew out the candle

Burning above his face–

No need to keep it lit

Inside this place

Where journey’s end

Had come to rest–

"I never really lost you,” he said–

"Then I was never really lost."

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026

Poem: Exit, Stage Left

You left the room
with a clumsy flourish,
the door slammed quickly—
reverberating force
like a vacuum cleaner
shaking the dust, until
every corner rattled, left clean,
untraceable—
the map you had in your hand
a plan
long before anyone knocked.
You ran.

But you forgot about me.

You fled the scene
like a small boy whose shadows
stalked him
though he could not hear
the others say,
"That's simply the moonlight
trailing behind as it breaks
upon your face."
Merely a shadow.
I was the one whose voice you heard
I was still there—
I ran to the door
watched you flee,
from the entrance
you turned into an
exit.

But you forgot about me.

You closed the door with a lie.
Later
I closed the door with the truth—
One isn't better than the other.

Yes it is.

You had a victim's mask in your pocket
all along—
pieces of your defense
glued together
at my expense
wrought in a place of false pretense
cutting the edges of your hands
shaking at the moment of
planned dispense—
the past is a map.

Now I see

what before I missed.

(There is no before . . .
Sure there is.)

You were the one who always
showed up
until showing came with a price
which is not showing to give
but to take what you could
while fingering the razor
you'd use to excise,
lingering as long
as I was the sacrifice—
your comfort the key
my love the prize
your time a carrot
my loyalty a vice.

But you misread me.

I was telling the truth all along—
on the notes of every song
in the lines of the poems
and walks in the sand
in the gaze of my eyes
the touch of your hand
the finding and seeing
hearing, agreeing,
unfolding, repeating,
the four loves
and being—
freeing.

But you didn't see me.

I was there.
I remember it all.
I know the true parts
and the ones you call false—
what you call a dirge
was clearly a waltz
one-two-three, one-two-three,
I wasn't weak—
that’s never been me—
life has taught me resilience,
presence,
when to be quiet and
when to speak.

But now you can’t hear me.

I said the truth
with a slam—
for every action there is reaction—
that's what I teach.
You were "the other,"
my other,
I paid attention in full—
you had it all—
then, it was a gift to you
now, a gift to me
because as I look back I can see
we—you and me—
found our way to
living truthfully.
These scenes lay unrevised,
unchanged by your alterations—
the story is the same
no slight of hand
will defy the playwrights’ vision
like a Choose Your Own Adventure can—
the plot is still thick
(you know it's so)
we wrote the pages
created the spaces where each scene would go.

But you upstaged yourself and I left it all on the boards.

The places we graced
now empty stages
but stages withstand
construction and striking,
building up and tearing down
don't change reality
or the things we knew
the verbs, the nouns—
as the ghost light rolls on
what changes is
me
and yes,
even you—
and so, we.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2023

Poem: Weathered Flag By the Sea

The Flag rehearsed the Wind all day –
Tugged hard – and would not yield –
The Sea flung questions up the cloth –
Which Fracture half revealed –

Salt worried every former hue –
As Fingers fret a seam –
Till Red forgot its early name –
And Blue misplaced its Dream –

It lunged – then snapped itself upright –
As if recalled to Task –
No Banner begged to be believed –
It only met the Ask –

The Pole enforced no Sympathy –
It held – because it must –
As Structures do – when Weather learns
The Vocabulary – Trust –

At Dusk – the Flag grew argumentative –
And struck the Air – once more –
Then folded up its shouting words –
And leaned against the Shore –

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026

Capitalization and punctuation inspired by Emily Dickinson. 🧡

Poem: Minor Character

The pen lazes about,
thinking
it’s a minor character.

It agrees to be borrowed,
chewed, misplaced,
forgotten in a drawer
with expired batteries
and a single paperclip
that has lost its shape.

The pen does not announce itself.

It is not forged.
It is assembled.
Plastic barrel.
Ink persuaded to flow in one direction.

It watches other tools
take the credit.

The shovel, for example,
returning from the field
with dirt to prove it was needed.

The brush,
still wet,
still dramatic.

The pen keeps quiet.

Between finger and thumb
it waits for pressure,
not strength.
Pressure will do.

It does not dig.
That would be too much to claim.
It scratches.
Again.
Again.
A thin disturbance
on the surface of things.

Strangely, the surface remembers.

The pen does not decide
where it will end up.
It is surprised to find itself
quoted,
misunderstood,
folded into pockets with muted shades of lint.

Set aside,
it enters ongoing business,
love stories,
and napkin dreams,
still damp at the edges.

If it resembles a spear,
this is an accident of geometry.
A narrowing.
A choice to point
rather than spread.

At the end of the sentence,
it returns to stillness,
yawning,
innocent as ever.

It will deny everything.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026

Poem: Stillness and Wind

“You can observe a lot
just by watching,”
said a baseball player
who understood seasons.

Two afternoons ago,
I sat in a lecture hall
watching a man
who still loves what he does.

This, I think, is a form of generosity.

He spoke about observation
as though it were not a skill
but a posture,
something you lean into
rather than master.

Take the dandelion.

We learned its name early.
We learned it could grant wishes
if we breathed hard enough.
We learned the wind would do the rest.

Then we decided
we knew it.

Label applied.
Lesson complete.
Attention withdrawn.

The dandelion continued anyway
with its architecture,
its patience,
its quiet mathematics of return.

It kept unfolding relationships
with bees,
with soil,
with children who forgot its name
but still loved its defiance.

How many things
have we learned only enough
to stop looking?

How many people
do we greet by name
while knowing nothing
of their design?

Later, we were encouraged
to ask our questions
and then to set them down.

To watch.

Intellectual beauty likes to be solved.
Aesthetic beauty prefers to be witnessed.

One explains.
The other arrives.

So perhaps today
we step outside
without extracting meaning.

No schedules.
No proof.

Just a willingness
to stand still
long enough
for something ordinary
to show itself
as extraordinary.

And if we feel something
we cannot name,
let us resist the urge
to name it.

Let us watch.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2025

Poem: Like Any Woman

It was not what she said

Instead

It was the way she held

The stem of her glass

Between freshly painted

Fingernails

Details

Red wine and red.


She breathed in and out

Like any woman would

Except

The silk in her dress

Gathered and fell

With inhale and

Exhale—

I waited for the next.


Her laugh was too loud

No clever disguise of

Civilized

Formalized veiling her mouth

Instead

Candlelit stares

In the face of she

Whose savage joy mesmerized me.


There was a soulful tune

Permeating the room

Penetrating

Armor I knew

Well beyond its usefulness

But

I had grown accustomed to

Until I felt the thrust of she.


Never before had her eyes

Encountered mine

“Hello,” I said—

Enunciation tranquilized

Words fell all the way back

And slid

To the sharpest point

Of her black high heel.


It was not that I fell mute

Instead

I dared not dilute

Fortuity in the air

With words wrapped

In coherence or

Forced insistence

Of my own understanding.


I held my hand open

For her to take

Perceiving

Gently cleaving

To the feeling

If she lay her hand in mine

Her touch would both stop and

Awaken time.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2025

Poem: We Walked Through Snow and Ice

People are complicated. They’re rarely what we first believe, and they’re almost always carrying a weight we cannot see. We tend to notice what others are willing or able to show us, and we assign meaning from there.

Strength, in particular, is easy to misread. Sometimes it’s resilience. Sometimes it’s concealment. Often it’s both.

We move through the world interpreting one another through our own mixture of experience, education, memory, and fear. It is remarkable that we connect at all. And yet, we do.

We walked along in the snow and ice
And you wanted to hold my hand.
I thought you wanted to show yourself strong,
But you were losing your footing too,
And needed my steadiness to help you along.

I refused you because I did not need your help,
I did not fear a fall,
And then you fell all on your own.
I wondered
If I could have helped.

We walked along a sandy shore
And you wanted to hold an umbrella up to the sun.
I thought you worried my skin would burn,
But yours was turning red,
You forgot your hat and needed the cover.

I refused you because I did not need your help,
My skin is olive in tone,
And then your skin turned hot.
I wondered
If I should have helped.

We walked along in wind and rain
And you wanted to lead me into shelter.
I thought you wanted to hold me close,
But beads of sweat gathered around your head,
And fever took your strength and made you ill.

I refused you because I did not need your help,
For me, the rain is a thrill,
And then you lay for days in your bed.
I wondered
Why I did not help.

We walked along inside my dreams
And you wanted to plot out the way.
I thought you wanted to boast in your sense of direction,
But the path grew long and the day turned to night,
So we lost one another under the stars.

I refused your course because I did not need your help,
For me, wandering without plan is adventure,
But then I lost you and you were gone.
I wondered
If I should have let you lead.

We walked away, I went this way, you went that,
And you did not turn to watch me go.
I thought you wanted to stay,
But the distance grew wide
And the time grew long.

I refused to feel because I could not feel it all,
My heart was broken in your hands,
But when I felt it all at once
I turned,
And you were gone.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2025