The Rooms Where Truth Presses In: On Tennessee Williams and the Work of Being Seen

By Jill Szoo Wilson

On a hot night in New Orleans, a woman steps into a narrow apartment carrying a suitcase that seems too heavy for what it holds. She pauses just inside the doorway, taking in the room with a kind of alert delicacy, as if the air itself might register her presence too quickly. Before anyone asks a question, she begins to speak. The sentences arrive shaped and careful, each one placed between herself and the world she has entered.

“I don’t want realism,” Blanche DuBois says not long after. “I want magic.”

The line is often treated as confession or ornament, a moment that captures her fragility in a single phrase. It works differently onstage. It establishes a method. Blanche does not speak to describe reality. She speaks to manage it. Language becomes the surface she can still control, even as the conditions around her begin to shift.

This is where Tennessee Williams places his audience. Not at the point of discovery, but inside a room where something is already known, already circulating, already shaping the behavior of everyone present. The tension does not come from what will be revealed. It comes from the effort required to keep that knowledge from settling fully into the space.

In A Streetcar Named Desire, that effort organizes every exchange between Blanche and Stanley Kowalski. She expands, adjusts, softens. He narrows. He asks, presses, produces. When Stanley lays out the papers from Belle Reve, the moment lands without flourish. There is no rhetorical victory, no extended argument. The fact of the papers changes the room. Blanche continues speaking, but the ground beneath her language has shifted. The audience does not need to be told what is happening. It can be felt in the distance that opens between what she says and what the room now holds.

Williams returns to this condition again and again, though the texture changes. In The Glass Menagerie, the room is quieter, almost suspended. Amanda Wingfield sits at the table and begins to describe her youth, the gentlemen callers, the afternoons that seemed to promise a future she still attempts to extend into the present. The story arrives polished, complete, ready to be believed. For a moment, it reshapes the apartment. The past becomes available again, not as memory, but as something that might still organize the life.

Across from her, Laura remains still. Tom watches, listening and not listening at the same time. The story continues. It always continues. When it ends, nothing in the room has actually changed. Amanda begins again.

The effect is cumulative rather than dramatic. Each telling reinforces the distance between the life that is spoken and the one that is lived. The audience begins to track that distance, to hear the effort in the repetition. Amanda is not deceiving in any simple sense. She is maintaining a structure that allows her to proceed.

In Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, the structure gives way to something more direct. The room is fuller, louder, more openly confrontational. Brick Pollitt lies on the bed, his leg broken, his body angled away from the others. Around him, the conversation continues. Maggie talks, circles, tries again. Big Daddy enters and begins to ask questions that do not permit easy deflection.

“What is it that makes you so g****** disgusted with yourself?”

Brick answers, but the answers do not resolve the question. They reduce, redirect, and close down. The subject remains present, shaping every line that moves around it. The play does not build toward a moment in which the truth is finally spoken and understood. It builds pressure around the fact that it cannot be spoken about cleanly at all.

What emerges across these plays is a distinct relationship between language and knowledge. Williams does not treat speech as a transparent medium. It carries weight, beauty, even urgency, yet it rarely stabilizes what it names. It reveals strain. It marks the point at which something begins to exceed articulation.

That excess often appears first in the body.

Stanley’s presence in Streetcar organizes the space long before he asserts himself verbally. He moves through the apartment with a certainty that does not need explanation. The poker table fills, the room tightens, the air thickens. When he strikes Stella, the act does not read as escalation. It reads as something that has already been present finding its form.

What follows is harder to hold. Stella returns to him. The text does not justify the choice. It does not expand it into an argument or an explanation. It remains where it occurs, in the body, in the space between them. The audience is left to register what has happened without being guided toward a conclusion.

Elsewhere, the body withdraws rather than asserts. Laura’s movement through The Glass Menagerie defines her more clearly than any line she speaks. She handles the glass animals with care that borders on vigilance, as if contact itself might alter them irreparably. When Jim dances with her, briefly, the shift is visible at once. The body responds before the language can follow. When the unicorn’s horn breaks, Laura adapts the object with a single sentence, and the moment settles. Something has changed. The play does not insist on its meaning.

Brick’s stillness in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof creates a different kind of pressure. He does not withdraw from the room. He remains in it, yet refuses to participate on the terms being offered. Maggie moves toward him, speaks to him, tests the limits of his attention. He does not meet her. The distance between them becomes the central fact of the scene. It is held in space, not resolved in dialogue.

For actors, these moments resist interpretation in the usual sense. The line cannot be treated as the primary unit of meaning. The work begins earlier, in the conditions that make the line necessary. What does the character need at this point? What are they attempting to secure or avoid? How does the body register what the language cannot fully carry?

Blanche’s speeches, for example, require precision rather than expansion. The language is already full. The actor’s task lies in allowing it to respond to the shifting conditions of the scene. Stanley changes something. Mitch changes something. The room changes. Blanche adjusts. The movement occurs inside the line.

Stanley, by contrast, depends on alignment with the space. His authority does not come from volume or intensity. It comes from the fact that he belongs to the world he occupies. When that alignment holds, very little needs to be added.

Brick presents the opposite problem. The stillness must remain active. Silence cannot read as emptiness. It must carry what has not been said. The audience should sense the presence of that withheld material even when it is not articulated.

Directors, working within these plays, face a similar demand for restraint. The environments Williams creates do not need amplification. The Kowalski apartment, the Wingfield home, and the Pollitt bedroom already contain the conditions necessary for tension to emerge. The work lies in allowing those conditions to register clearly. Proximity matters. Movement matters. What cannot be escaped matters.

This is why Williams’ plays continue to feel immediate, even as their settings recede into another time. They do not depend on surprise. They depend on recognition. The audience is asked to remain in the room long enough to feel the pressure build, to notice the distance between what is said and what is known, to register the point at which language begins to give way.

The truth, in these plays, does not arrive. It presses.


To read other essays in the playwright series by Jill Szoo Wilson, click the links below:
Sam Shepard
Arthur Miller
Harold Pinter
Lanford Wilson

Aragorn, in Theory

He said he was like Aragorn—

which simplifies things.

At once there is a kingdom,
a lineage,
a future postponed for noble reasons,
and a woman somewhere
patient enough to make it meaningful.

And since patience,
then waiting,
and since waiting,
then interpretation—

small pauses examined like artifacts,
silences catalogued,
every delay entered into evidence
as proof of depth.

No throne required.
No witnesses.
No public act of choosing.

The crown exists in theory,
which is lighter to carry.

Not just the scale, it’s also the convenience—
a man may remain unfinished indefinitely,
provided the story explains him.

A man may divide his life into careful sections,
call it burden,
call it timing,
call it the long road.

The road lengthens nicely
when no one insists on arrival.

And I—
placed somewhere along this route,
not quite a destination,
more like a well-lit clearing—

am asked, without being asked,
to understand.

To recognize greatness in restraint,
to admire the discipline of postponement,
to hold the shape of a future
that keeps adjusting itself.

Meanwhile, in less mythic settings,
kings tend to announce themselves,
love tends to appear in daylight,
and decisions, when they happen,
have dates.

Still—

it is a beautiful story.

The hidden heir.
The necessary delay.
The almost.

So what can one say
about men who borrow epics—

the historians of themselves,
the quiet editors of consequence—

if anything fits,
it is this:

that in the retelling,
with enough weather,
enough distance,
enough carefully chosen words—

even hesitation
can be mistaken

for destiny.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026

On Writing, Voice, and Iris Lennox

In January 2023, I made a New Year’s resolution to write more poetry. For once, I actually followed through. I wrote quite a bit that year, but most of it was just okay.

What I started to notice was that all of it sounded like me, but not in that beautifully cohesive way where you can tell a piece is by Emily Dickinson or Wisława Szymborska. There was something a little circular about it.

So the following year, I started taking poetry classes and workshops with real, working poets.

I’m not sure if I’ve gotten better, but I do know this: listening to other students’ and poets’ work in the room changed everything.

I started thinking thoughts I hadn’t thought before and feeling things I didn’t expect to feel again. Just from listening to people write about ordinary moments. The kind that light you up, or break your heart, or make you want to live, but on fire.

Life is so rich and dynamic, and also boring and mundane. And you can write about all of it.

So, I created a pen name: Iris Lennox.

This summer, I’ll be publishing a book of poetry under that name. It felt like the right time to start sharing some of that work and to give that voice a little more room to grow.

I also created a website for it:

irislennox.com

I’ll be sharing poems and short pieces there as I continue developing this side of my writing.

❤️,
Jill

Whisper the Passing Time

Memory sifted through their hands

Like water

Or like sand—

The kind of sand that lays flat

On desert ground

And all around the blistered feet

Of those who stand and watch the sun

With faces red

And cracking under heat

Filtered through dust—

Or like water.


Like water

In trickles

Between fingers pruning with excess

Trying to keep it there

Sickeningly aware

Of the weakness in the spaces

Between their fingers

And their hands—

Their memories fell right through

Splashed around their ankles

In a shallow pool

Reflecting upward

Not what was held

But what remained.


Recollections darkened

Not gone—

But changed

Into purples and blues

Certain as midnight

Uncertain as morning.

The light from those days

Did not disappear

It bent

Casting shadows

From the figures they had formed

In the mind—

Standing still

Even as everything else moved.


Not that they lied,

They simply could not see

That the laughter of then

Would return differently

That what once rang out

Clear and effortless

Would come back softened

Carrying weight

They had not yet learned to name.


They heard the voices

Of those they knew

From long ago days

When laughter was simple

Easy as something rolling

Downward

Without resistance—

Smooth in the hand

Bright in the light

Held up and turned

Until color revealed itself

And then slipped away again.


Recollections continued

Not fixed

Not held—

But moving

Across the surface of them

As water does

As sand does

Shifting

Settling

Lifting

And falling

Without asking permission.


Their memories were old

But inside them

Something remained

Not unchanged—

But present.

A trace

A tone

A warmth

That did not belong

Only to the past

But to the shape

Of what they had become.


Memory sifted through their hands

And still

Something stayed—

Not in the grasp

But in the holding

They could no longer see.


Recollections whispered

The passing time—

Not hurried

Not still—

Simple as a falling grain

Intricate as the path it takes.


© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026

Poem: Until It’s Time

The branch has lowered itself
just enough
to suggest an invitation.

Not to take—
only to come closer.

A cluster of blossoms gathers here,
pink in several decisions,
each petal folded inward
where light reaches
and shadow remains
until
it’s time.

They hold more air than expected.

When the breeze passes through,
the movement is slight—
not a flutter,
not quite a sway—
something closer to breath
distributed among them.

The scent does not arrive all at once.

It holds.

A faint sweetness
moves in and out of notice,
never settling long enough
to be claimed.

It resembles something remembered
without the obligation to be exact.

The bark chooses not to participate.

It’s rough
where the blossoms are not.
A hand, placed there briefly,
would feel the distinction immediately.

Somewhere beyond the frame,
grass yields under passing steps—
a quiet compression,
then release.

Water watches,
with continuity,
a low, steady movement
that declines the possibility
of becoming the subject—
ever the supporting role.

The blossoms remain.

Close enough to touch.
Close enough to confirm
what they appear to promise—

a softness that would not resist
the certainty of fingers.

The distance holds.

The air carries a trace of green—
pale and timid,
warm and cool—
tumbling against itself
waiting to affirm a victor.

Summer already knows who will win.

For now,
the air passes through the mouth unnoticed
halfway inhale
halfway exhale.

Then it is gone again.

The branch lifts slightly
or the body does—
it’s difficult to say which.

The blossoms return
to their position among many,
indistinguishable at a glance.

Still—

for a moment,
they held the conscious weight
of examination.

And in that moment,
briefly,
blushed at their own beauty.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026

Poem: A Modest Proposal for the Internet Age

There is a version of you
already walking around out there.

She has good lighting.
He is a series of clean paragraphs.
They speak in sentences that arrive
fully dressed.

No one interrupts them.
No one misquotes them.
No one catches the moment
before the thought lands.

They do not hesitate.
They do not circle back.
They do not say,
“Wait, that’s not what I meant.”

This version of you
does not exist in your kitchen
or your car
or the quiet ten minutes
before sleep.

Still, she is convincing.

She has been liked.
Shared.
Saved for later
by people who will not remember
where they found her.

Meanwhile,

you forget what you were saying
mid-sentence.
You start projects you never return to.
You carry conversations in your body
long after they’ve ended.

You revise yourself
in the shower.
You win arguments
three days late.

There is no algorithm for that.

No one clicks
on the unfinished version.
No one bookmarks
the moment you changed your mind
and did not announce it.

And yet,

this is the only place
anything real has ever happened.

Not in the caption,
but in the pause before it.
Not in the post,
but in the hour you spent
deciding whether to speak at all.

The Internet will continue
to assemble you
from fragments.

A sentence here.
A photograph there.
A tone someone will misunderstand
and carry with them
as if it were complete.

You will be summarized
by people who have never
heard your voice in a room.

You will be known
in ways that are technically accurate
and entirely untrue.

This is not a problem
to be solved.

It is a condition.

So—

wash your cup.
answer the email you’ve been avoiding.
tell the truth
in the next small conversation
that asks it of you.

Let your life become
slightly more aligned
with the person
who appears so effortlessly
on a screen.

Not perfectly.
Not all at once.

Just enough
that if someone were to meet you
without context,
without history,
without the archive—

they would recognize you.

And if they didn’t,
you would not feel the need
to explain.

Now,

go and become the person
you want the Internet to think you are.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026

Poem: Algorithms of Fathers and Sons (And Daughters, Too)

There is a jukebox in the corner

Where saddle shoes used to tread

Under skirts and socks with lace

Splattered with drippings from

Chocolate malts and shakes,

Where pearls would bounce

And roll across the floor.


Tile black and white—

I know it sounds trite

Like paisley on a bow tie

But patterns and bow ties

Bring order to the madness—

Also hamburgers, French fries

Ponytails and Snake Eyes.


He came to this place

Where the music was stuck—

Records displaying

Yellowed faces

Songs replaying

Grooves worn low

Weary, dull and much too slow.


Going backward

Isn’t really his thing

But there came a day

When his soul melted

Slipped through his lungs

Leaked and oozed

Puddled around the soles of his shoes.


Forward

No longer

Was an option for him—

What was he supposed to do?

Walk away, a shell of a man

Empty but for the wind

Whistling through?


He stood

Until noon traveled around him

Draped over the moon

Darkness descended,

Then fell his soul

Standing stuck

He heard the rattling of a rancid truck.


“Move aside,”

Said a man

Who smelled like Linus looks

Plus the tan lines of a garbage man,

“You’re in my way,

and what is this filth

at your feet?”


Accustomed to the dross

Of the city streets

With fetid hands the garbage man

Began to lift the spilt soul

Which was running into the ditch but,

“Wait!,”

Cried the empty man.


“That is not junk

though it lacks the glow

of gold

please leave it here

with me

it is all I have

if the truth is told.”


“All you have?”

Laughed the man

With the smell of human waste

On his hands,

“Then pick it up.”

Then came the second truth,

“I can’t.”


“I need your help,”

The wind spun around his tongue

Then played the space

Between his ribs

And his lungs

Like a concerto for weakening

Flesh and bone.


“Damn it all,”

The collector of trash replied

As he bent at the waist

To clean up the spill

That rolled down the hill

Before it crusted, caked and dried

Under the heat of the sun.


“I’ll put it in your pocket

now move along

get something to eat

there is a diner

across the street

that serves the lost

and the weak.”


And so, this is how he came

To the place echoing with the past—

The jukebox, the pearls

Where nothing was meant to last—

Fate brought him low

Then brought him here

To face the time where it all began

(Thanks to the garbage man).


“I don’t understand,”

He thought to himself

Then said it out loud

As his eyes rolled around

Searching for some logic

He could grip

Or some algorithm

He could apply to the script.


And then

Entered a ghost

With matted hair

On the sides of his head

Coming out of his ears,

A limp in his knee and

Teeth glowing green.


“I don’t believe in ghosts,”

Said the empty man

“Tough shit,”

Said the apparition

Blunt in his delivery and

Over dramatic

In his long flowing livery.


“Do you have a cigarette?”

Coughed the ghost

To which the live one replied,

“Do you always start with small talk?

I don’t mean to gawk but

your presence and general

demeanor are starting to piss me off.”


“You are here for a reason

and so am I

we need to get some things straight

before it’s too late

for you.

As you can see

it’s already too late for me.”


The beginning and the end

Sounded like a riddle

But somewhere in the middle

The living man

Recognized the voice,

“Dad?”

He squinted and then stuttered.


“No shit,”

Said the ghost and then

Once more,

“Do you have a cigarette?”

The living man

Almost fell to the floor

“Here, one of my last four.”


They sat in a booth,

The jukebox began to croon

They ordered hotdogs with ketchup

Had no forks

Cut their food with a spoon,

“I don’t mean to pry

but why have you come?”


“I met her here in 1952

we were both too young

to know what to do

so we loved and had fun

and then she had you

I thought of staying

but I couldn’t follow through.”


They sipped coke through a straw

To fill the long pause,

“Again, I wonder

why are you here?”

The ice clinked

In the ghost’s tall curvy glass,

“I know I was an ass

I feel kind of bad

I heard you needed me there

but I didn’t know—

shit—

it was hard to stay away

and hard to stay

I wanted to say . . .”


A pause.


And a tightening of the throat

Both the man and the ghost

Turned and squirmed,

“But why today?”

Asked the living son

Who wanted to run but chose to stay.


“Before I go to my final space

I was given the gift

once more

to see your face

and written there

I saw your hopelessness—

it rendered my journey motionless.”


“Is that when my soul

dripped all the way out?”

The ghost whispered back,

“That wasn’t your soul

it was fear and self-doubt

and I couldn’t help but

notice my name

on the puss that spilled out

so I used my airy powers

to stop your feet

with the little time I have left

I wanted to meet

in case my song repeats

after I’m gone.”


The air was still

Atmosphere heavy

Like before a storm

The ground felt shaky

And covered with worms

Snakes, anteaters and obese germs.

“I took a bit of you

and left too much of me

dropped you in a hole

of anonymity

no sure identity

as is given by a dad

and when you reached for me

your hand collapsed

empty

confused

your confidence slid—

but hear me now:

you are the best thing

I ever did.”


The living man

Felt a peace begin to grow

In a place he did not know

Existed before today

Above his ribs, above his lungs

Where scabs were hung

Replaced with Band-Aids.


“I didn’t know

and I have a lot of questions

but I feel your time is fleeting

so I will ask only one

why wait

so late

to have this meeting?”


“Time is made of seconds and of hours

each tick devours each tock

as we ignore the face of the clock

take for granted the breath

and selfishly hold the seasons

in vaults of the mind we keep locked

for prideful reasons.

But I tell you,

my son,

you are not

hopeless

I see your shine

and as long as you are living

there is still

time

so live

and be the you that is

free

of the weight of me

and my stupidity,

I am sorry.”


Then the ghost

He didn’t believe in

Vanished

To whence he came

But left a ray of something

Maybe hope

And the jukebox continued to play.


© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026 (updated)

Poem: And She Flew

Currents of wind
Grasping blue
From the sky

Mixing colors—
Translucent white
Floating by

In puffs
Like smoke
But water

Cascading
Masquerading
As clouds, drifting down
To rest upon
The ocean’s top

Atop the undercurrents
Pulling dark and light
Together

In a haze
Under the phase
Of the moon

Where fullness
Steers the darkness
From the light.

At night the sense of
Flight
Alights

In dreams and hopes
A knotted rope
Hangs from the stars

And swings
As she sings
Like a bird

Whose song is sung
Carelessly
Without thought

She calls into the night
Filling it
From empty
To bright

And falls into
The space where
Downwind caresses
Upwind lifts

And buoyancy calls her
Higher still.

As hummingbirds swing
Creatures below
Sting

With venom held
Inside teeth
Red with the catching

Stories repeat
Through dust and mold
Dark with lies

Whispered inside
By unseen spies
Who feed on souls

Who fill the roles
Like actors
Paid to play

Unable to reach
The heart
And open—

Unfold
Like art.

The ones below
Whose wings were clipped
Set a scheme

Narrow as a
Tightrope
A balance beam

A trap
Set with bait
And they waited

Inside a box
Designed to promise
The only way

Into hope
From hopelessness—
To pull her down

To steal her crown

A crucible
Of fire
Inside folded walls

Where stories
Cease to be told.

She flapped her wings
Tilted her head
Toward the earth

Wondered
Then wandered
Through the expanse

Where freedom
Takes its chance
On little birds

Such as she

She caught a breeze
Saw her reflection
In the sea

Caught a glimpse
Of her worth

And floated down
To the cardboard flaps
Of the box

The dark ones
Moved
Like worms

The kind of worms
Eaten by birds.

It looked easy enough

Fold the second flap
Then the first
And follow the way

They had planned

To be kept
From the sky
From the breeze

From the warmth of the sun
The turn of the season

From the spring
That would
Enchant her

Like a lover
Enhance her

With colors
Vibrant
Breathing
Beating

With life
To romance her.

“No,” she thought

And then—

“No,” she said

The comfort of that dark
Is stark

The safety of that space
Is small

A quiet that settles
For an hour

Sweet at first
Then turning

She felt it
And knew it

And chose—

She rose

And she flew
And she flew.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026

Come Visit Me on Substack

Hello friends,

I wanted to let you know that I’ve also been writing over on Substack. That publication is called Necessary Whispers, and it’s a bit more casual than what I tend to post here.

I just began a small series called 20-Today. The idea is simple: I write one poem or observation each day while I’m in motion — at the gym or on a trail — and I stop at twenty minutes.

That’s the only rule.

After spending much of this past year writing through heavier subjects, I’m turning toward something lighter. Writing simply for the joy of it!

If you’re curious, I’d love to have you join me there.

Here’s the link:
https://substack.com/@jillszoowilson

As always, thank you for reading, wherever you are.

❤️
Jill

The Wait

I couldn’t find an artist for this piece. I’d be happy to attribute it upon discovery.

He arrived early.

He always arrived early. It gave him time to rehearse the version of himself he planned to be. The diner sat off the highway with wood paneling darkened by decades of smoke and winter. A Budweiser mirror hung behind the counter. The jukebox near the bathrooms blinked in patient pinks and greens, waiting for quarters.

He chose the booth against the window. The vinyl was cracked in two places and repaired with strips of clear tape that had yellowed over time. He slid in, set his keys on the table, and checked his watch. The red numbers glowed briefly against his wrist before fading back to black.

7:42.

He trusted the red glow. It felt decisive.

The waitress, whose hair was sprayed into a shape that both defied and paid tribute to gravity, poured coffee into a thick white mug without asking. “You waiting on someone?” she said, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah,” he replied, with a smile he practiced in rearview mirrors.

He adjusted the sleeve of his Members Only jacket. He pressed the edge of the paper placemat flat with his palm. The placemat advertised a local car dealership and smelled faintly of ink and grease. Outside the window, the parking lot held his car and one pickup truck that had been there since he arrived.

He imagined her walking in.

He imagined the bell over the door ringing once. He imagined not looking up immediately. He imagined letting her cross the room before lifting his eyes, as if her arrival were incidental and not the center of his evening.

He lifted the mug. The coffee was hot enough to require patience. Steam rose and vanished.

The door did not open.

7:58.

Maybe she was late.

Traffic collects where it pleases. A woman might linger at her kitchen counter, turning a ring around her finger. She might rehearse the first sentence and discard it. The evening could still be intact, only delayed.

The door did not open.

The first flicker of heat came when the clock above the counter clicked to 8:00, and the jukebox changed its lights. He felt it low in his chest, the way a swallowed word lingers. He realized he was counting the seconds between passing headlights in the parking lot. One. Two. Three. The gap stretched longer each time, like the space between lightning and thunder when the storm is blowing away.

He folded his hands on the table. He pressed his thumb against the rim of the mug to steady a tremor he refused to acknowledge.

The booth across from him remained empty.

The fire began quietly.

It gathered itself first, narrow and deliberate, like a man straightening his tie before stepping into a room. The flame rose from the center of him in a single, disciplined line, bright without frenzy. It kept its posture. It traced the length of his body with precision, as though even humiliation preferred form. The vinyl held. The napkin lay flat. The sugar caddy caught the light and gave nothing away. The fire belonged to him and to no other surface.

He did not look around.

He knew what it meant.

It was the heat of being visible without being chosen. It was the temperature of a man seated in plain sight while the woman he waited for occupied some other evening entirely.

He slipped his hand into the pocket of his jacket and felt the soft crush of a Marlboro pack. He considered lighting one. He imagined the smoke blending with whatever rose from him. He left the pack where it was. It might smell more like nicotine and less like Stetson.

8:17.

He could leave.

He could stand, slide a five-dollar bill beneath the saucer, and nod at the waitress as though something had come up. He could step into the night before anyone calculated how long he had been there. He could revise the story later. He could say he changed his mind first.

Instead, he stayed.

He let the fire narrow him.

It burned through the scene he had rehearsed on the drive over. The way she would tuck her hair behind her ear. The way she would say his name as if it surprised her. The way the first silence between them would feel charged instead of awkward. Each imagined moment flared and collapsed, bright and brief.

The waitress wiped down the counter with a cloth that smelled faintly of bleach and Ranch dressing. A man in a trucker cap fed a quarter into the jukebox and selected a song that crackled before finding its melody.

The booth across from him held its vacancy with composure.

He understood then that absence makes an entrance of its own. It sits across from you and asks nothing. It leaves you to supply every explanation.

The heat climbed higher.

He felt it behind his eyes, where pride waits. He felt it in his throat, where apologies gather. He felt it in the small, involuntary tightening of his jaw.

He closed his eyes.

Behind his eyelids, color pressed and thinned, as if light were searching for a seam. The closed door no longer mattered. The parking lot no longer held narrative weight. What remained was the outline of himself, suspended in brightness, and the steady recognition that nothing outside him required explanation.

The fire thinned slowly, like steam from cooling coffee.

He opened his eyes.

He lifted the mug and drank what remained. The coffee had cooled into the color of old pennies. A bill lay beneath the saucer like a quiet offering. He stood and drew his palms down the front of his jacket, smoothing it as though pressing the last ember flat.

The bell above the door rang when he pushed it open. Just once.
“Yes,” he murmured. “That’s right.”

The night received him in its thin winter air. Gasoline, frost, distant highway. His breath moved cleanly now.

Inside the diner, nothing smoldered. The booth remained intact. The coffee cup cooled into porcelain silence.

The ash had settled elsewhere.

It lined his lungs. It sifted softly behind his ribs. It marked the place where waiting once stood.

He crossed the parking lot lighter by one imagined future.

© Jill Szoo Wilson, 2026